November 16^th: Thoughts

I do not know how anyone else’s mind works. I am only just now, at my age, beginning to understand the way mine works. I am pretty confident, though, that we all generally, at the very bottom of it all, want the same things: To love & be loved, to feel safe, to be healthy, free of worry, and to be peaceful and happy. That might look starkly different from person to person, but the desires are the same.

The biggest obstacle that stands between me and all of those things are not any of the things that make the most sense. I am not unlovable or incapable of giving love, I am not in any imminent danger, not sick, not plagued with problems. The things that give me trouble more than anything else are my own thoughts.

As I said, I don’t know how your mind works. But mine is pretty extra. I love my mind, don’t get me wrong- I am funny and imaginative and I have a knack for knowing how to coax a smile from a child or soften an angry heart. I love that about myself. I can also drive myself up the wall with fantastic scenarios that will never happen, assumptions that are dead wrong, and just plain rude remarks towards my own self, when I know I am doing the best I can. Who needs that?

Not me! Part of the reason I meditate (as I’ve mentioned a billion times before) is to slow the frantic pace of my thoughts, and to recognize when my thoughts are unkind and untrue. Most of the time it works great. When the stakes of the day are a bit higher, though, so is my anxiety, and therefore, my thoughts are a bit harder to deal with.

The thing is…I always end up doing what needs to be done. I always pull it off, whatever it might be. Looking back on my life, whatever the occasion was, I can’t think of one I didn’t rise to. Perhaps there have been some, but the point is, I can’t remember them if there were, so…it must not have been that important, right? All the stress and worry I put myself through was and is for nothing.

Today, whatever you have on your plate, remember, you can handle it. If your thoughts are being unkind and untrue, let them know that you see that and that you won’t be taking that shit on right now. Worry and stress do nothing but rob you of the joy of living, and you deserve to enjoy your life. So, make your best effort and know that is the most anyone can ever expect of you. And when your thoughts get a little sideways, remember YOU are in the driver’s seat, and you know what you are doing. If that doesn’t work, just turn up the music until you can’t hear yourself think. That works, too.