November 3rd: Wonder
This morning, as I sat down to meditate, my head kept filling itself with visions of the life that awaits me just down the road. Moonlight on snow, a sky full of stars, the distinct, salty scent of the Atlantic Ocean. I would chase the thoughts away, return to my breath, and just as quickly, more pictures would dance through my head- crackling fires in a cozy living room, June Saturday’s that are greener than the greenest thing you’ve ever seen, ferry boats and navy seas, lighthouses and briny air.
In my chest, my heart stirred and swelled with excitement, anticipation, and…wonder. I know that my breath was supposed to be my anchor, that I was not really supposed to be delighting quite so much in those daydreams- not then, anyway, not during meditation…but so what? Maybe today, that was exactly the meditation that I needed.
How often, as adults, do we get swept away with wonder? Less and less, it seems, at least for me. Our lives and our routines are not constructed in such a way to leave much room for moments where we simply marvel at the deliciousness of life. And even if we did have a few moments to spare, minutes we didn’t feel obligated to use up folding laundry or pulling up the garbage cans from the curb, more than likely we’d spend them with our eyes glued to our phone screen.
Quite frankly, I think that’s just sad. I think we all ought to work a little bit harder to bring that sense of wonder into our lives. I mean seriously, what in the hell is the point, even, of a life that is spent simply trying to survive? And if not trying to survive, then we are trying to get to the next level, then the next, then…then what? Then we’re old, and we die rich if we’re lucky?
Pardon my language, but FUCK that. When I think about this move looming in the future for me, I’m not thinking about work or establishing a routine or leveling up or checking my Instagram. I’m thinking of the joy of discovering new places, the memories I might get to make, the adventure I will have. I am thinking about rainstorms and laughter, new friends I might make and stories to tell. I am thinking about all of the things that, for me, make a life worth living. And that…that fills me with wonder.
Today, think about the last time you were filled with wonder. Was it a particularly perfect sunset? A breathtaking full moon? Maybe it was staring at the face of your sleeping child or turning a corner to find a view that just stopped you dead in your tracks. Maybe it was just a shaft of sunlight dancing across the floor. Think about how it made you feel, and how you really ought to have moments like that every single day, at least once. Then ask yourself how. How can you invite that sense of anticipation, awe, and joy to show up? What can you do? The answer will be different for each of us, but for sure it is in there somewhere. When it comes to you, listen.