Life | Notes From Elsewhere

November 19^th: Life is But a Game of Whack-a-Mole

If you are anything at all like me, you will understand the title of this post.

Look, I didn’t make the rules, I’m just over here trying to deal with life the best I can, stay grateful, nurture my spirituality, do things that feed my soul, give my love and my time to the young people I did most of the work creating, meditate daily, and share the little nuggets of “wisdom” I’ve gleaned with whoever wants to read it.

Also, I have to eat, work, sleep, and do the drudgery of a 50’s housewife without any Valium at all and no husband to deal with…so I guess that’s kind of a win?

My point is, and I swear that I do have one, there are pieces missing from that list. “How can that be?” you might wonder, “There are already so very many things on that list for one small person in one short day!”

Yeah, you’re right! There is! That’s what I’m getting at- While I’ve been over here trying to be a super mom and a kick-ass employee who also has this crazy spiritual side of her going on, I haven’t exercised in like…seriously, I don’t even know. I don’t count walking my dog because that’s really for her, and she stops to sniff things way more than we are walking, so…

Also, my house, which is always pretty gnarly, has really been suffering lately. I got the laundry kind of under control, but I don’t know when I cleaned the bathroom last. I finally washed my sheets today, and I flat out refuse to tell you how long its been since that last happened. Mostly because I can’t remember. The dishes get done regularly, yet there are always more. My car is so dirty right now that if I run out of windshield wiper fluid, I don’t think I’ll be able to drive.

Basically, whatever I am excelling at, you can bet your ass that there are just as many things that are being left undone. Add my ADHD to the mix, and it’s just a confusing half-finished project of a life. Also, I have no idea where my keys are and I’ve been missing one shoe for so long, I think maybe I just need to throw its mate away. So that’s my life, in a nutshell. A big-ass whack-a-mole life.

Today, if you relate to anything I’ve just said…first of all, I’m sorry. I’m sorry it’s like this, and I don’t know how to fix it, BUT! Take heart! I think it’s like this for everyone, whether they talk about it or not. I’m sure it’s a spectrum, and some of us are a bit more harried than others, but it’s okay! We are all just children stumbling around in these adult bodies with credit cards and secret feelings of inadequacy. This is as normal as it gets, folks. Maintaining balance is a myth. So relax. Just pick up the mallet and hit the mole that’s closest and call it a day. And if no one has told you lately, I think you’re doing a pretty good job.

November 2^nd: Slack

Do you ever have days where just everything goes wrong?

Of course, you do! what am I saying? You’re human, after all.

Well, today has been kind of like that for me… I mean, not everything has gone wrong, but it is still early. I’m neck deep in what I have now coined the “volatile cocktail” phase of my monthly cycle. It’s anyone’s guess what will set me off, make me cry, or throw me into a panic attack, so…that’s pretty exciting.

I dragged out my morning procrastinating, kicked a cat dish across the room (by accident) and really hurt my toe. I accidentally hit my dog in the nose with a spoon. I yelled at the same dog because she wouldn’t stop staring at me. I ran out of hot water for my bath. All relatively minor things on their own, but when you add it all up…it’s still minor, I guess. But I’m not feeling particularly centered or spiritual or helpful today.

So, guess what? I’m not going to fight it. I’m not going to fight with myself or try to force myself to feel anything different. Remember that post about acceptance? Well, that includes accepting myself on days like today, when I’m the Medusa version of me, too. I love myself, even today. Even when I’m a lump of flesh laying in bed at two in the afternoon.

Sometimes you just have to let go of your plans for the day, let go of expectations, let go of the to-do list, and cut yourself a little slack. And not give yourself a hard time over it, either.

Today, if you happen to feel a little hormonal, perhaps, or just can’t seem to get things to go your way, I hope you can cut yourself some slack, too. I hope you can love your Medusa self, even when she (or he) is not very lovable. I think we should both just take a nap, what do you think? A little nap, some comfort food, maybe a cup of tea…I bet we’ll feel better by evening.