Tag Archives: relax

Enjoy

January 18th: Enjoy

Today, I am giving myself permission to do exactly what I want to do. No more, no less. I took a long drive down the coast with Lucy this morning, pulled over when I felt like it to walk the cliffs along the sea. Turned around and headed back when I was ready.

After I post this, I might just crawl back into bed for a while and nap…or I might take a bath. I don’t know. I’m on my own today, and the day is wide open. No schedule, no plans, no rules. I am declining the creation of a to-do list, and just taking a break.

I ask a lot of myself every day. And no matter how much I do, I find a way to make it not enough. I’m always critiquing myself and thinking about how I could have really done a better job if I’d done this, or not done that. If I’d been faster or taken my time. If…if, if, if.

That’s a really shitty thing to do to yourself, you know? And it’s a really hard habit to break. But today, I’m just going to leave myself alone and shed the weight of all that expectation. Today, I’m simply going to enjoy myself. Drink it all in. Be happy with whatever I’m doing…or not doing. I need a break. I’ve earned it.

If you are in the habit of riding your own ass, I want you to stop it. Just stop harassing yourself, stop talking down to yourself, stop being mean. In my experience, we speak to ourselves far more harshly than we ever would another person. The thing is…I really, really like myself. And I bet you really like yourself, too. So, how about we both start acting like it? I intend to do just that. Right now. I hope you do, too.

Rest

November 17th: Rest

I pushed myself really, really hard yesterday. In addition to running all over town to pick up everything for Cam’s party, I had to wrap presents, make gift bags, bake macaroni and cheese, load the car and help Camryn get dressed and ready. And that was all before the party even started!

Being a mom is always my favorite thing- always. But being a mom on a birthday party day is stressful! Worrying about who will show up, trying to make it a good time, being in charge of a bunch of kids. Plus, I skated my buns off. So, by the time it was over, I was wiped out. I don’t spend a lot of time doing very busy, social things. It…drains me. A lot.

So, I went to bed very, very early last night. Of course, I woke up very, very early, too. I made my coffee and had an excellent cup, and then I thought “you know what? I’m not done sleeping yet.” So, I filled up my travel mug for later, and I did something I almost never do- I went back to bed.

And that is pretty much how my day has gone. Up, coffee, eat some leftover cake, go back to bed. Up, let Camryn in from her dad’s house, eat some leftover sandwiches, go back to bed. I finished a book and started another one. I checked on Cam, who slept for about three hours herself this afternoon.

I finally took a bath around dark, left to go to the store one time, and meditated just before sitting down to write this. I did not accomplish much today, not in the traditional sense, I guess. But I did rest. And that is not the easiest thing to allow yourself to do when there are a million other, seemingly more important things to be done. I needed it. I can’t begrudge myself this little thing that my body and spirit asked me to do for myself.

Today, or whatever is left of it…I hope that if you are tired, worn out, drained, that you can allow yourself to rest. Go to bed early or watch something trashy on TV. Take a hot bath, read a good book. The dishes can wait, trust me. They’ll still be there in the morning. Give yourself a little break. Goodnight.

Cozy

November 8th: Cozy

Today has been a funny day. The weather is finally acting properly- nice and foggy this morning, stayed cool all day, and now it’s a bit overcast as the evening rolls in. Work was cancelled about halfway through today because the software program we use kept crashing. So…kinda left me at loose ends.

I grabbed some take-out Japanese on my way home from picking Cam up, and just passed the afternoon picking at my bento box and diving into a good book. I’m sleepy, but in the best possible way.

There’s plenty of stuff that needs to be done around here, but it can wait a little longer. My plans for the evening involve nothing but fuzzy pajamas, my book, my bed, and maybe my TV. I worked very hard this week, and I think I shall reward myself with a long, luxurious, indulgent break. For now, I think I will see if Cam wants to read some of her book with me before she leaves for her Dad’s for the night. I just want to do cozy things tonight. It seems like the perfect night for it.

Wherever you are, I hope that you get the chance to have exactly the kind of night you want tonight- be it going out and dancing until dawn, having a romantic dinner with someone you adore, or just curling up on the couch with a blanket, your cat, and a great book. I’ve made it clear which option is most appealing to me. And with that, I am signing off for today. See you tomorrow!